Once Upon A December

OK, I admit that I took the title of the soundtrack "Once Upon A December" from the cartoon Anastasia as the topic of my blog entry now. However, there's a reason for it.

You see, people often take whatever is before their eyes for granted, me not being an exception. It is often that we overlook whatever is dearest to us, often to regret after a while. And this happened half a year ago.

Before December last year, none of us really thought that this would happen: everybody would be scattered far and wide. However, as December threatened to arrive, we were all suddenly struck with the the revelation that we may not meet again for a very long time. Although we may be just a dial away, yet the feeling of speaking to each other face to face is not there. Suddenly, we began to panic, and only then did we start to treasure each other properly, and frantically held gatherings to reunite ourselves.

As to date, some are already in Australia, some are in Penang, Taylor's College, INTI College, TAR College, UTP, Kolej Matrikulasi and soon there will be one leaving for Johor Bahru and the United States of America. All of us now are trying their best to get our friends' contact numbers and e-mail addresses, hoping to keep in touch via SMS or Instant Messaging. Some are already in despair knowing that they've lost their contact numbers due to telephone malfunction or loss of their contacts book.

In those days, we could easily get together in 40s just by going to school. Now, could we really count on that? Can we now get together as easily as before? Definitely not.

It's quite ironic that we never give this a thought during our younger years, especially when we shift from kindergartens to primary school.

Anyway, never has my heart felt so empty before; though I may have made new friends in UTP, my heart keeps on longing for old friends. In my heart, I pray that my old friends will not forget me. In my heart, I keep praying and hoping that we shall meet again, soon. So far, two have already forgotten me. We managed to keep in touch with each other for a few years and even relied on MSN Messenger to contact each other. But lately, for the past two years, though we were all online, these two so-called friends of mine refused to reply me.

Perhaps you may not know how important friends mean to me. It means my life to get just a friend. Losing one is already heart-breaking enough for me. And often, the loss is due to physical separation from each other. This physical gap involuntarily widened the friendship gap as well.

I thank God for those who still remember me as a friend, and who is still loyal to me as a friend, despite the fact that we may not meet for a long time, years especially. Nothing delights me as having friends, knowing that I have nobody to accompany me at home. No siblings to share my thoughts, only my parents.

People often asked me whether I feel lonely. For seventeen years, I denied feeling lonely. Now, could I deny it any further? The answer is simple: no.

So what if I'm lonely? Get a book to read! Or call your friends who are available! Play the piano! Surf the Net! Still, those are not the cure for my loneliness. I'm one who now like to go and meet people. Making a telephone call means almost nothing to me, for I tend to forget whatever is spoken via the telephone.

I know I could have gone out easily to meet friends, but with almost everybody gone to further their studies elsewhere, where can I turn to? Furthermore, some people are bound to dislike the idea of my going out all the time. Parents.

Somehow, I do envy those who have siblings, although I have many a time thought to myself that being the only child is good. Now... ah! I mustn't break down.

Nobody ever said that life is a smooth-sailing voyage. And nobody ever voluntarily wanted to participate in such a voyage.