University versus Home

Indeed, it feels great to be home again for the holidays. But, is it really that great? Sometimes, I ponder that wouldn't it be better if I spend most of my time back in university, where I can really be free to do whatever I want?

This is not to say that I can't be free at home or forbidden to do whatever I want, but you can't expect me to be so homely at this age right? Is it not simply natural for a teenager like me to go out and hang out with friends and have some fun? I just simply can't sit down at home quietly and do almost nothing! Meeting out with friends is one of the many things that I find is able to make me pass my time more quickly.

Sure, my parents do not like the idea of my going out with friends so often. But what is there to do at home for the whole day? I have done the necessary studying I planned to do at home, I play the piano every day and I have spent enough time with my family. Does it do any harm to go out with friends to keep in touch with one another?

I feel that I have been restricted lately. Yet, it feels strange when my mother used to say that I was too homely and refused to go out (even now she says that). But, when I want to go out with friends my parents do not really seem to like that idea. Well, I am out of home, am I not? My mother said that I'm too homely, so I've decided to go out more often. And yet, when I return home, my mother would then say that I spent too much time outside. So, what is it that they want?

I try to balance up things a bit. Supposed that I go out with friends today. Then, I'll make a point to stay at home tomorrow, but I might have a programme with my friends again on the day after tomorrow. That at least does not infuriate my parents that much. They can't say that I'm too homely, yet they can't say that I spent too much time outdoors, too.

I am starting to miss university now. I have not felt this bored at home for such a long time! Time passes as if one millisecond is an hour at home, but it passes as if 24 hours is just 24 seconds in university. Before you knew it, day would have turned to night in university so quickly.

In university, I could find company easily. Whenever I'm bored, I would go to my friends' room and have a chat with them or I would sometimes (actually, frequently) be blessed by the presence of Jared Ee or Josiah Tay in my room. Often, these two buddies of mine would cure me of my boredom. But now that I'm home, none of them could come to my house (one lives in Johor, and the other has transport problems) and I know that it would be too much for me to spend hours on the telephone. Sure, I could go online and find friends to chat with, but it's not as fun as having a nice time talking with friends face to face.

Perhaps all this is due to the fact that I get to go home almost every week. Missing home is certainly out of the question for me now. I could understand how great it feels for other friends who live outside Perak to go home for the holidays. I recalled that I had never returned home so frequently during my last semester compared to this. Perhaps, I shouldn't return home so frequently. Then, I'd know and appreciate how great it feels like to be home.

But, for now, all I could do is wait for the DeepaRaya break to end. I am indeed looking forward to my lectures, tutorials, tests and revision. I am also certainly looking forward to meeting my university mates again. However, just sitting around at home waiting for time to pass just won't do; I've got to do something!

Tomorrow, I'm going for a game of badminton with a friend of mine. After that, I shall be going for another outing with Chee Lupp and friends in Jusco. Perhaps, it will be my last outing for this holiday.

Sometimes, I wish that I had a brother (one who is slightly older or younger). Then at least we could share our thoughts. But it is a risk to have siblings in a way. What if our relationship is not as good as I imagine it would be? I am not being pessimistic here, but if, indeed, our relationship is not as good as I think it would be, isn't it better for me to be just the only child?

Ah, the pros and cons of having or not having a sibling certainly balance up lots of things. One just cannot decide whether being the only child is better or having a sibling is better. Things are very unpredictable, especially when they concern life.