Deja Vu

When I read the newspapers today and turned to the Rage section, one of the articles just reminded me of my previous ambitions.

That article, "When I grow up..." discusses about how many of today's teenagers have to compromise with their parents regarding their future.

In many families, professions such as doctors or engineers are often thought to be the best profession "in the world". Others such as a musician, psychologist, veterinarian and many more are often frowned upon.

Parents may think that they know what is best for their children. Well, in some ways, the truth is undeniable. But, come to think about it, who are they to dictate what their children should or should not be in the future? Why can't they let their children decide on their path on what they want to be?

Many of us would take up medicine or engineering because "we want to fulfill our parents' dream" or because "we don't want to make our parents disappointed". So does that mean we have to disappoint ourselves and continue feeling disappointed forever?

Many of those who have chosen to heed their parents' advice and yet push their own ambitions down to hell have found that university life, or even their working life, isn't enjoyable at all. In fact, many have dropped from university or even pursued other job opportunities because they couldn't cope up with what they have now.

My cousin, for instance, was forced to do a degree in law. He wanted to be a qualified hair designer but his parents, being as conservative as ever, forced him to Australia and to complete his degree in law. Sure enough, he came home as a qualified lawyer. However, after showing his parents his certificate in law that he had obtained, he immediately flew back to Australia to study what he loves most: hair designing. Eventually, he returned and opened up his own business as a hairdresser. His parents could not do anything.

So, if the parents wanted their son to do law just for the sake of getting that certificate, is there any use? If only the parents were supportive enough, he wouldn't have needed to waste his time studying law and suffered through that torment for so many years.

I, on the other hand, had experienced somewhat similar scenario. When I first said that I wanted to be a lawyer, my parents showed disapproval and tried their very best to convince me that life as a lawyer is difficult. They also feared that I may have a crazy idea of becoming a pianist (performer) so they had long ago given me a long lecture about the poor prospects of a performer to discourage me from going into the musical field.

My mother suggested and encouraged me to be a doctor, a profession that I liked least. My mother thought that I would do well in my Biology so that I'd be more convinced to delve into the world of medicine, but unfortunately that was not the way. Soon, I told my parents that I wanted to be a geneticist. They had no idea of what type of job prospect does a geneticist have but I told them that there is no demand in Malaysia, but in the USA. They were somewhat OK with that idea but due to my poor results in my Biology tests and examinations (although I scored 1A for Biology in SPM) I decided to forget about becoming a geneticist. I found that I have a passion for Physics, so I decided to become a Civil Engineer. However, as usual, my parents started to talk to me about Mechanical Engineering, Electrical & Electronics Engineering, Petroleum Engineering, Chemical Engineering and so on.

However, as "stubborn" as I can be, I signed up for Civil Engineering as my first option, and Mechanical Engineering and Chemical Engineering as my second and third options respectively. There, I have decided, and whether they like it or not, they can't stop me (*bleh*)!

Now, they are not so against my idea of becoming a Civil Engineer anymore. In fact, they are perfectly all right with that idea. After all, this is MY dream and I believe that I am THE ONLY ONE who should dictate on how I want my life to be.

Actually, I have considered myself to be a performer. I had thought of joining Performing Arts. However, what are the chances that I shall be able to release my own records? Plus, how many people out there would want to listen to stuff like Classical music when nowadays people are so into Fort Minor, Eminem... and the list goes on. No way are they going to listen to some boring music that easily induces people to SLEEP. Therefore, although I'm still pursuing my musical studies, it will have to be my second major.

Here's my conclusion. To those out there who are yet to decide what they want to do, you'd better decide now and make sure that you work hard towards your aim. Stand firm on your ground and don't let somebody else simply wobble you down. Your parents may not like your choice but you can always try and convince them about your choice instead of them convincing you about theirs. After all, it's YOUR future; they have already got THEIRS.

It's true that parents would always like to see their children doing what the former like. However, many don't realise that they might be doing more harm than good.

Pursue your own dreams, pursue your own success; pursue their dreams, and you might pursue your own ruin.