I should be excited, but...

I can't seem to wait any longer! I have purchased a ticket from Ipoh to Johor Bahru. I'm going to travel there on my own for good. I just cannot bear staying at home doing virtually nothing! Imagine not meeting friends, not doing anything, just watching television, going online, playing the piano, reading novels - that's all!

I should be excited about my going to Johor Bahru, as it is one of my very few trips whereby I get to travel alone. I'm leaving for Johor Bahru on the 26th of December. It is actually a trip which I planned secretly, for some reasons that I can't divulge here now.

I feel that if I had not gone travelling at one point, I'd be rotting literally. Yes, maybe you'll be seeing flies feasting over my live body. The truth is that I feel entirely useless if I don't do anything. It is as if my holidays are meant for nothing, which is why sometimes I wished that my holidays are not that long. To me, a four-week holiday is sufficient (I'll be having seven weeks of holidays at the end of next semester!) and anything longer than that would be just a waste of time. I enjoy being in university as I can now feel the warmth among my company.

Speaking of company (I have to speak in riddles here now), things have gone somewhat wrong nowadays. Since the National Health Sciences Debates in International Medical University (I'm merely implying the time period), there has been a gap in between friends, or a wall if you like. Somehow, this gap is becoming wider and wider by the day and I don't know why. I have no idea if I had done anything wrong or is it that somebody else have done something wrong.

It's extremely difficult to understand a person's character. And sometimes when you try your best to look at the positive side of a person, you can't help it but to also consider the negative side of him or her. Sometimes the negative side shows so much that it overshadows the positive side of the person, thus you might shun the person away or give him or her the cold shoulders. You might acknowledge their presence, but the intimacy will not be there anymore.

The condition has not gone critical yet, but somehow I don't feel the need to make things better. It is as if that it is not of my fault that such things happen. Though I yearn to know why, but if it is not my fault, I'd clearly refuse to make up for something I've not committed. Why admit a sin that you've never committed right?